When Betrayal Awakens the Abandoned Child: Finding God’s Nearness Again

 

Betrayal often hurts in ways that feel disproportionate to the present moment. For many betrayed partners, the pain feels ancient—raw, consuming, and terrifying. If this resonates, it may be because betrayal has awakened what we call the Abandoned Inner Child.

This part of you learned early what it felt like to be left—emotionally, physically, or relationally. When betrayal occurs, that old wound reopens, whispering the same fear: “I am alone again.”

Understanding the Abandoned Child

The Abandoned Child forms when connection was inconsistent or unsafe. Perhaps a caregiver was absent, distracted, or emotionally unavailable. As a child, you learned that love could disappear—and you learned to survive by clinging, pleasing, or bracing for loss.

Betrayal doesn’t create this wound—but it re-traumatizes it.

Why Betrayal Feels So Terrifying

After betrayal, many women experience panic, obsessive thoughts, fear of being left, or an inability to self-soothe. This is not weakness. It is a nervous system remembering an old survival story.

Scripture speaks directly into this pain:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)

God does not shame your fear. He draws near to it.

Healing Begins with Presence

Healing the Abandoned Child begins when you stop abandoning yourself. This looks like:

  • Sitting with your emotions instead of overriding them
  • Naming your fear without judging it
  • Allowing God’s presence to meet you where the pain lives

God’s nearness is not theoretical—it is experiential. He stays.

A Gentle Practice

Place your hand over your heart and say aloud:
“I am here. God is here. I am not alone.”

Repeat as needed.

Reflection

  • Where do I feel abandonment in my body right now?
  • What would it look like to stay with myself in this moment?

Healing does not require rushing. It requires remaining—and God is very good at that.

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